So Everyone's A Little Bit Autistic

My art teacher once asked me if I was autistic.
Clearly I had never realised she was from Brooklyn. Where had this accent of hers sprung up from? Of course I was artistic, I was in an art class wasn’t I?
“I mean, I used to work with autistic kids. I know what kind of work they do.”
No…she definitely meant autistic.
“I have never seen so much insignificant, insightful, OCDish detail like this done by anyone who wasn’t an idiot savant”
O.K. someone was definitely not good with compliments. I smiled slightly and wondered how to reply to this. This was not the first time someone had noted to me that I had a fix for details.
So I thought about it. I do have very sensitive eyes. I love watching balls bounce and fish swim. I don’t like to be touched if I’m not doing the touching. I kind of have this thing about not understanding large numbers and I hate dolphins. Wow. Could I be an autistic savant?
No. I’m just an only child. I was pretty much forded to be creative and find strange ways to entertain myself.
In his book, “The Essential Difference”, Cambridge University psychologist Simon Baron-Cohen lays out the exact definition of autism: a disparity between the intelligence of empathizing and the intelligence of systemizing- a basic imbalance between understanding people and understanding things. Autism is just a higher intelligence of understanding things.
Well this makes practical sense. Understanding people is hard. They hide their feelings and say the opposite of what they mean. They lie and paint themselves façades to hide behind. Autism is obviously the logical way to go.
Studies have shown that in general, females are better empathizers than males and males are just better at understanding things.
This is why girls are so intricately complex and un-understandable. Why they look into everything that is said, why there will always be hidden meaning behind a simple ‘hello’.
Men will never think this way. They don’t deconstruct and analyze phrases like ‘see you later’ in cultish groups with their bestest guy friends.
- Oh my god Mark, she said ‘See you later’. Was she trying to cut the conversation short? Giving me false hope that I will actually see her later today? Does she not want to pursue the relationship because she obviously doesn’t want to see me NOW, but only LATER, like, am I a booty call now?
Men don’t do that. (Well the ones I’m trying to find anyway)
But, when my calculator says 4 x 2 is 8, I believe it. I know that it’s not just saying 8 because it thinks that’s what I want it to say. It’s not saying 8 to deceive me into trusting it. 4 x 2 is 8, it’s that simple. I trust inanimate things.
I like systemizing. It’s clear cut and truthful and won’t care if you’re not wearing Prada.
Understanding and noticing all the parts of something makes me appreciate the whole so much more.
I stare at glasses of water far longer than is socially acceptable, but its properties amaze me. It’s clear and liquid and can be solid and can be cold and tastes like nothing but like the most amazing nothing I’ve ever had.
And so what if I see the shadows people cast before I actually see the people. Shadow and light and dark are intoxicating. Next time you have an opportunity to speak to someone, notice where the shadow falls on their face. How perfectly spaced their features are. How a family of complimentary colours dance in their eyes. Details make life beautiful. Details define us and make us individual.
“Thank you” I finally decided to reply to my art teacher. Autism isn’t a setback in any sense, just another perspective.